[ She feels the familiar burn of tears behind her eyes as she releases a shuddering breath. Then she shakes her head, keeping her gaze down at his hand on her arm. ] You didn't...You didn't do anything. You were upset, and...I mean, of course you were. Zelos is your friend, and he was killed...who wouldn't be upset about that?
And I knew...deep down I knew that you probably wouldn't really be mad at me. You're not like that, and...and Tía Pepa said that you wouldn't be. [ So it seems that she has talked about this with someone, even a little bit. ] And I knew that there wasn't anything else you could have done...there wasn't anything else that anyone could have done. But there was still a part of me that worried that you'd...resent me for stopping you from helping Zelos and taking you away. Or that I should have done more to help, and I started feeling guilty for not even trying. [ Her fingers tangle in the fabric of her skirt, worrying the material in her hands as the words continue to fall from her lips in a hurry. ] And then I felt even guiltier because I had told you that there wasn't anything else you could have done, but I couldn't stop thinking that I should have done more, even though I know I couldn't.
[ She's trying, trying so hard not to take every burden and every fault on her shoulders, to accept that there are things that she can't and even shouldn't have to do. That just because she's strong, it doesn't mean that she has to take on everything. But it's still a struggle, and the guilt of not doing more never really goes away. ]
And then I started feeling even worse because...I mean, people died! Even though they came back, no one knew that was going to happen. So people died, and those who didn't still thought they had lost someone they cared about. Even when those people came back they were confused, and still hurt, and everyone was going through a difficult time. But... [ Her cheeks started to burn, the familiar feeling of shame once again rising in her chest. ] Even though I was sad for all the people who died too, I was...still more worried about you maybe being upset with me.
[ Even though he wasn't, even though he hadn't given her any reason to think that he might be, she couldn't get the thought out of her head. ]
That...That's why I didn't want to say anything. Because I knew I was being selfish, worrying about something like that when so much else was going on. [ With another heavy sigh, she buries her face in her hands. ] I was just...being stupid.
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And I knew...deep down I knew that you probably wouldn't really be mad at me. You're not like that, and...and Tía Pepa said that you wouldn't be. [ So it seems that she has talked about this with someone, even a little bit. ] And I knew that there wasn't anything else you could have done...there wasn't anything else that anyone could have done. But there was still a part of me that worried that you'd...resent me for stopping you from helping Zelos and taking you away. Or that I should have done more to help, and I started feeling guilty for not even trying. [ Her fingers tangle in the fabric of her skirt, worrying the material in her hands as the words continue to fall from her lips in a hurry. ] And then I felt even guiltier because I had told you that there wasn't anything else you could have done, but I couldn't stop thinking that I should have done more, even though I know I couldn't.
[ She's trying, trying so hard not to take every burden and every fault on her shoulders, to accept that there are things that she can't and even shouldn't have to do. That just because she's strong, it doesn't mean that she has to take on everything. But it's still a struggle, and the guilt of not doing more never really goes away. ]
And then I started feeling even worse because...I mean, people died! Even though they came back, no one knew that was going to happen. So people died, and those who didn't still thought they had lost someone they cared about. Even when those people came back they were confused, and still hurt, and everyone was going through a difficult time. But... [ Her cheeks started to burn, the familiar feeling of shame once again rising in her chest. ] Even though I was sad for all the people who died too, I was...still more worried about you maybe being upset with me.
[ Even though he wasn't, even though he hadn't given her any reason to think that he might be, she couldn't get the thought out of her head. ]
That...That's why I didn't want to say anything. Because I knew I was being selfish, worrying about something like that when so much else was going on. [ With another heavy sigh, she buries her face in her hands. ] I was just...being stupid.